Craig Shopping

Here’s a teaser with Craig shopping at the drugstore, deciding to pull a funny on an unsuspecting clerk:

“Can I help you find something?”

Craig raised his head, looking at the young stock clerk standing next to him wearing an eager grin.

“Well, yes, I was wondering about these cleanses, could you help me pick one?”

“Sure, I just need to know how long you want it to take and if you’d rather have juice or water, the water ones are best if you really want a good cleanse, though.”

Craig thought for a moment.      “Well, let’s see, I need it to work by Friday morning, and I definitely need a good cleanse.”  The clerk picked out a box.

“This one would be good.  You can start on it this evening, and by Friday morning, you’ll be clean as a whistle.  You can even eat protein and vegetables, but no gluten.”  He gave it to Craig, smiling.   “Why do you need a cleanse, may I ask?  Diet, turning vegan?”        Craig decided to have some fun.

“I’m bonding with a vampire, and my sire wants me to be clean.”

The clerk backed away with a wide fake smile on his face, shaking his head.  “Umm, have fun with that, then,” he murmured, the smile still in place.  He disappeared down the nearest aisle.  Craig shook his head, laughing, as he headed for the registers.

“Yup, Carl was right, nobody believes you when you tell the truth.”

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16 thoughts on “Craig Shopping

  1. Hahahaha! Poor unsuspecting clerk. 🙂


    1. Yup–nobody believes in vampires 🙂 That’s what they’re counting on 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. And truth in fiction is even stranger. Fun snippet!


    1. “The strength of the vampire is that men will not believe in him.” Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤


  3. So much for that clark!


    1. Yup, I think Craig surprised him with that little bon mot 🙂


  4. I would think vamps would like plenty of red, juicy meat!


    1. Only when it’s filtered through living beings 🙂


  5. Interesting snippet for sure!


    1. Thanks 🙂 That clerk didn’t have a clue ❤


  6. Well, that clerk is sure gonna have a fun story to tell at Starbucks tomorrow morning! 😉


  7. Oh yeah–they’ll probably think he’s stoned or something 🙂


  8. Ooh! What a great last line! Also a very true one! This just got really interesting based on that.


    1. Thank you 🙂 That was a nice compliment–that’s one of the true strengths of the vampire, yes? No one believes in them 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Or maybe he believed and that’s why he ran away. On the other hand, I’m not sure why he needs a cleanse, especially if a water one, just water fasting would be enough. Funny snippet.


  10. The pain of turning/bonding for a human is lessened if they’re prepared by a cleanse–the fewer poisons that linger, the better, due to the physiological changes that occur 🙂


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