Here’s a snippet from The Ancient where Jeffrey is wondering what might have been as he looks through Bruce’s medical file–
He missed Bruce, pure and simple. He loved him so much it hurt, hurt every day. He would give everything he had for another chance, he would prove himself to him, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes.
He shook his head. What a pipe dream. The man was married, so dreams were all he had. It wasn’t as if he had stayed celibate when he had gone to Christchurch, then back home to Brisbane, but it had never been the same. He had rescued himself from a cliff, and he had really tried to get lost in a new life. He dated, tried to develop relationships with other people. He had even gone out with quite a few ladies, but he had always held them up to a Bruce standard.
They had all failed miserably. He had himself tested, and then he had remained celibate indeed. Clean and virginal.
He wondered if Bruce thought about him. He looked at the small photo of him clipped to the inside cover, tracing the lines of his face–a face that still had the power to make his heart race. He closed his eyes.
“Oh Lord, Bruce, I was so clueless.”