Meeting Phitz

This is a snippet from Family Matters–readers of Talk Of The Town will know who Phitz is–he’s meeting Gil, his birth dad, and he has a moment of self-realization–

Phitz made his way past scarred wooden tables with the ghosts of overlapping rings from coffee mugs and cups. No saucers in a place like this; too artsy fartsy. Ashtrays overflowing with yellow-tipped butts dotted each one, and Phitz snorted a little to himself, thinking that the poor overworked woman behind the counter just gave up after a while and said “fuck it” whenever she looked at them. He caught a glimpse of himself in the hazy mirror behind the bar and turned away. He didn’t like looking at himself in the mirror; a geeky slender guy reaching toward thirty, with soft brown eyes and carroty red hair spiked with too much gel, and a pale, clean shaven face full of angles. An ex-girlfriend had once told him that he reminded her of a priest, and at that thought, he looked down at his t-shirt, still tie-dyed with yesterday’s lunch and half hidden under the camo jacket with “Fitzhugh” stitched on the patch above the pocket. No Roman collar here, sorry.


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16 thoughts on “Meeting Phitz

  1. Karen Michelle Nutt October 16, 2016 — 5:06 pm

    Great imagery here. I get the sense of who Phitz is and what he looks like and how he sees himself.


  2. Thank you ❤ That's just what I was aiming for —


  3. I can certainly visualize the environment – terrific details!


    1. Thank you so much 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤


  4. Love these descriptions and I love the line about the Roman collar.


    1. Thank you 🙂 I always knew Phitz had a foot in two camps; the angel on one side, the devil on another. Ah, but which side will win?


  5. Love your descriptions. The woman behind the bar and the ashtrays are wonderfully vivid.


  6. Thank you so much–your opinions mean a lot 🙂 I work hard to produce pictures in a reader’s mind 🙂


  7. Great descriptions! The description of his clothes says a lot about him, doing double-duty as character building as well.


  8. Thank you 🙂 I do think a man’s clothes tell a lot 🙂


  9. I feel like I’ve read something similar to this before. Great descriptions though! Love the line of the rings on the table and of his shirt.


  10. I originally wrote this for a writing assignment years ago–I retooled it and juiced it up a little before I published it 🙂 Thanks for the complement 🙂


  11. Love those ghost rings on the tables. Great snippet!


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