Meeting Phitz

This is a snippet from Family Matters–readers of Talk Of The Town will know who Phitz is–he’s meeting Gil, his birth dad, and he has a moment of self-realization–

Phitz made his way past scarred wooden tables with the ghosts of overlapping rings from coffee mugs and cups. No saucers in a place like this; too artsy fartsy. Ashtrays overflowing with yellow-tipped butts dotted each one, and Phitz snorted a little to himself, thinking that the poor overworked woman behind the counter just gave up after a while and said “fuck it” whenever she looked at them. He caught a glimpse of himself in the hazy mirror behind the bar and turned away. He didn’t like looking at himself in the mirror; a geeky slender guy reaching toward thirty, with soft brown eyes and carroty red hair spiked with too much gel, and a pale, clean shaven face full of angles. An ex-girlfriend had once told him that he reminded her of a priest, and at that thought, he looked down at his t-shirt, still tie-dyed with yesterday’s lunch and half hidden under the camo jacket with “Fitzhugh” stitched on the patch above the pocket. No Roman collar here, sorry.

family-matters-cover

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16 thoughts on “Meeting Phitz

  1. Karen Michelle Nutt October 16, 2016 — 5:06 pm

    Great imagery here. I get the sense of who Phitz is and what he looks like and how he sees himself.

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  2. Thank you ❤ That's just what I was aiming for —

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  3. I can certainly visualize the environment – terrific details!

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    1. Thank you so much 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤

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  4. Love these descriptions and I love the line about the Roman collar.

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    1. Thank you 🙂 I always knew Phitz had a foot in two camps; the angel on one side, the devil on another. Ah, but which side will win?

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  5. Love your descriptions. The woman behind the bar and the ashtrays are wonderfully vivid.

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  6. Thank you so much–your opinions mean a lot 🙂 I work hard to produce pictures in a reader’s mind 🙂

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  7. Great descriptions! The description of his clothes says a lot about him, doing double-duty as character building as well.

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  8. Thank you 🙂 I do think a man’s clothes tell a lot 🙂

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  9. I feel like I’ve read something similar to this before. Great descriptions though! Love the line of the rings on the table and of his shirt.

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  10. I originally wrote this for a writing assignment years ago–I retooled it and juiced it up a little before I published it 🙂 Thanks for the complement 🙂

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  11. Love those ghost rings on the tables. Great snippet!

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